A personal wedding ceremony begins long before the celebrant starts writing. It begins with listening closely enough to notice how a couple speaks, where they pause and which small details change the expression on their faces.
Carola Trenkle conducts wedding ceremonies in German, English and Spanish. Her background in film and systemic coaching shapes the way she listens to couples and turns what she learns into a ceremony that feels true to them. In this interview, she talks about home, long-term commitment, humour and the moment when one small detail reveals the heart of a relationship.
Carola’s personal ceremonies. Photo: Lina Wissen
How coaching and film influence the way you listen to couples
I approach every couple with openness and warmth. My priority is to create a space in which they feel safe and comfortable sharing whatever they wish to tell me about their lives. I do not guide them towards a fixed perspective or a story I have already decided to tell.
Body language, pauses and presence all matter. Each can carry meaning and help me understand the people in front of me more fully. My experience in film makes me attentive to these details, while systemic coaching helps me remain curious and listen without imposing my own interpretation.
What Berlin Freiburg and Uruguay have taught you about home
I am a very curious person and often look for new inspiration. New places and encounters give me fresh impulses and keep me moving.
After forty years in Berlin, I now live in Freiburg, and Uruguay is another place where I feel at home. For me, home is not defined by one address. I feel at home when I am in good company, with friends or even on my own. Home is simply where my heart feels at ease.
What a long term relationship has taught you about commitment
Even after more than twenty years of marriage, I still feel very independent. Living in a long-term relationship while continuing to grow in the same direction is a true gift.
Perhaps our strong connection through tango and our shared sense of humour help a great deal. My own experience gives me a clearer understanding of the different dynamics and needs that couples bring into our conversations. Commitment does not mean giving up your independence. It can mean choosing, over many years, to keep moving together.
Carola Trenkle. Photo: René Löffler
What it means when couples hand responsibility over to you
Couples often know precisely which emotions they want their ceremony to hold, even if they do not yet know how to translate that feeling into an order of events.
My job is to discover which elements matter to them and what they want me to include. I offer different options so that they can decide what fits them best. I then work closely with everyone involved to make the ceremony feel personal, special and well organised. Handing over responsibility means that the couple remains involved in the decisions while knowing that I will keep track of the details.
How you balance warmth honesty and Berlin humour
I listen carefully and with empathy, respond with an open heart and avoid stereotypes. Every couple has its own rhythm and its own way of being funny. I do not arrive with a fixed style of humour and apply it to everyone.
And honestly, making a couple laugh within the first ten minutes is still one of my favourite challenges. Their response tells me a great deal about the tone that will feel natural for them.
How a small detail becomes the heart of a story
It is often less about the detail itself than about the way the couple tells it. I notice the expression in their eyes at that exact moment, the feeling behind the words and the atmosphere that suddenly develops between them.
I often capture these moments in my mind like still images from a film. Later, those images can become an important part of the story because they reveal something that a list of milestones cannot.
A ceremony shaped by attention and trust
For Carola, a wedding ceremony does not begin with a template. It develops through careful listening, honest conversations and an awareness of the moments that matter to the couple. Coaching gives her a way to ask without leading. Film has taught her to observe. Her own long-term relationship helps her recognise that commitment can hold both closeness and independence.
You can learn more about Carola’s work as a bilingual wedding celebrant on her English profile.
If you would like to meet Carola and talk about your wedding ceremony, contact Strauß & Fliege. The first conversation is free and without obligation.
